Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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