It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
