there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
