i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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