I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
