Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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