The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize