Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
