alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
