That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
