oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
