Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my liver is dry heaving
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