i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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