thus making me awesome and them whores
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
