pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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