The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
