i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
