Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize