Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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