Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
