Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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