billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
