Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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