Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
