how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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