Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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