like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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