You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
