HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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