you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Someone came in the potted fern
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
