garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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