Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
