After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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