You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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