I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The air taste purple.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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