HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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