Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
