UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the condom got lost in my hair
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
