Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
