I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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