STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
