Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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