me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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