I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
