We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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