kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
