Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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