Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
