How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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