I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
