how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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