We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
