Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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