So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
