I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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