i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
