You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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