We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
