everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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