I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
