Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
